Kymberly
06-14-2008, 01:00 AM
A few yrs. back, a dear friend asked me "If you didn't have this, could you stay sober?" At that time, I couldn't fathom not having H.O.U.S.E., Inc. so the reality of his question, I could not comprehend. I thought about his question and answered "Yes, I can." Today, I understand the connotation of his question, because when my life changed, when H.O.U.S.E., Inc. was no longer "my daily life's work," or "what I did for a living," I was faced with the fragile nature of his question and my answer, even though the same, "Yes, I can," has a different meaning. What I realized is that my life was built around recovery, but that didn't mean I had a program for recovery outside of my daily life...You see, for me, living recovery was easy, it was just my life, it was not a struggle to "do the next right thing" anymore. I don't mean to suggest that recovery is not still paramount in my life," because it is, it's just different...
What is difficult is change and how I change with it. Changing how I exercise my recovery muscles. Changing how I look at challenges that are not familiar to me. My life is shaken up and a new set of challenges are in front of me. I have different resources to draw from...I have to be brave and courageous in a way that is unfamiliar to me. I have to draw strength from a different mind set, not a different source, but in a different way...I am having to be much more aware of everything and everyone around me because they are different, I am no longer coasting through the familiarity of my daily life.
When I went back to my old "home group," on the other side of town, to people that were familiar with, but not married to, H.O.U.S.E., they helped me see things differently and I could see hope in change and not so much fear. One of the ladies, which I have an immense amount of respect for, agreed to be my new sponsor. Can you guess what she has suggested for me to do? Start over. Start anew. I know that sounds simplistic but I have found so much freedom and motivation in this. I started reading the Big Book from page one, I began working the steps over. I am seeing things in a new light and with a new conviction. I am applying the principles and steps to my "new life" and moving forward. I feel hope, confidence and direction again. There is still a lot of uncertainty and change to come, but today, I'm okay with that. Oh, and I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. What a beautiful sense of freedom there too.
I thank God for AA and the 12 steps. I thank God for the other alcoholics that gathered around me and supported me through this very difficult time and I thank God for all of you!
So, I want to ask you, If you didn't have what you have today, could you stay sober? Do you have diversity in your recovery? Please share what works for you in times of drastic change.
Thank you for letting me share this life changing experience with you.
Much love, peace and blessings to you all,
K
What is difficult is change and how I change with it. Changing how I exercise my recovery muscles. Changing how I look at challenges that are not familiar to me. My life is shaken up and a new set of challenges are in front of me. I have different resources to draw from...I have to be brave and courageous in a way that is unfamiliar to me. I have to draw strength from a different mind set, not a different source, but in a different way...I am having to be much more aware of everything and everyone around me because they are different, I am no longer coasting through the familiarity of my daily life.
When I went back to my old "home group," on the other side of town, to people that were familiar with, but not married to, H.O.U.S.E., they helped me see things differently and I could see hope in change and not so much fear. One of the ladies, which I have an immense amount of respect for, agreed to be my new sponsor. Can you guess what she has suggested for me to do? Start over. Start anew. I know that sounds simplistic but I have found so much freedom and motivation in this. I started reading the Big Book from page one, I began working the steps over. I am seeing things in a new light and with a new conviction. I am applying the principles and steps to my "new life" and moving forward. I feel hope, confidence and direction again. There is still a lot of uncertainty and change to come, but today, I'm okay with that. Oh, and I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. What a beautiful sense of freedom there too.
I thank God for AA and the 12 steps. I thank God for the other alcoholics that gathered around me and supported me through this very difficult time and I thank God for all of you!
So, I want to ask you, If you didn't have what you have today, could you stay sober? Do you have diversity in your recovery? Please share what works for you in times of drastic change.
Thank you for letting me share this life changing experience with you.
Much love, peace and blessings to you all,
K