Do you escape from unpleasantness by turning to drugs or alcohol ? Do you think that you are a failure? Are you a person who is unloved or worse, unlovable? Do you feel that you are a waste of space? Are you depressed or anxious most of the time? Do you have an irrational fear or phobia about anything?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then perhaps you should consider Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

CBT has been around since the 1960s, pioneered by Aaron Beck MD. It is increasingly being called Cognitive Behavior Coaching, as your therapist coaches you in new ways of thinking and dealing with situations, but you do most of the work. Don’t think that it’s easy because it is quicker to show results than psychotherapy, as you have to be prepared to do a lot of introspection and analysis of your behavior and thinking.

Addictive thinking is not only about drug and alcohol addiction; it is about the way you automatically think and often obsess and react. If someone offers you advice on how to make a project better, and you react badly or take this positive criticism negatively and you always do, then this is addictive thinking. You have conditioned yourself to react or think badly if you suspect that you are being criticized because you always want to be perfect.

  Think about this scenario for a moment; we are all imperfect and are not demi-gods. The good thing about making mistakes is that we learn from them this means that making mistakes are valuable and positive, not negative.

  Your therapist or coach will ask you why you believe that you must be perfect, and you will have to look deep inside yourself for the answer. When you have it, you will be able to recognize a behavior pattern and this can be unlearned. You and your CB therapist will explore different ways of reacting to such a scenario.

Introspection can be painful

To get the most out of CBT you have to be prepared to look at why you respond to different situations and people in a negative way. Perhaps its because of past experiences. A CBT approach does not focus on the past but on the present and future. There’s no point in beating yourself up over something that you can’t change that happened in the past. Your CB therapist will probably tell you “there are no such words as shoulda, woulda, coulda” and once you see the wisdom in that you will be able to shake yourself free of those deep-seated memories which may have shaped your addictive thinking.

Drug and Alcohol Addiction

A CBT approach can help with such addictions as your coach will as you to discover what triggers your addictive behavior. Perhaps it’s what you perceive as negative criticism, or perhaps you feel better about yourself when under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Maybe you resort to this type of behavior with a certain group of friends, in which case you may have to stop seeing them as they are not helping you by taking you with them on binges.

  CBT takes weeks or months rather than the years of psychotherapy, and is about the here and now not the past. You have to reflect on why you are behaving and responding to situations in a negative way, and yes, this can be painful, but ultimately you will feel much better about yourself and others if you take the plunge and try CBT.